Biting, pushing, tears, oh my!

Can you tell it's been a ROUGH January?! SO many behaviors. And the newest is my older son acting like my younger son, that is when he isn't acting like a dinosaur. I'm completely exhausted!

Here's a little context: I have 2 boys~4 years old and 19 months. My older son, Nolan, is a rule follower. He rarely gets into trouble and we have had only minor behaviors with him, so far. He responds well to redirection, positive language, time-ins and all that attached parenting stuff. Well...#2 is the opposite! Lucas is a biter, pulls his brothers hair, throws himself down on the floor and pushes people out of his way. It is his way or the highway and no amount of redirection can change that. Just today, we are all playing dinosaurs and we have TONS. Nolan sets up the ankylosaureses (sp?!) and we offer every other dinosaur to Lucas, to no avail, he wants what Nolan has. Fights and tears ensue and we put all the dinosaurs away.

I try to be patient and can handle most behaviors but the biting HURTS. Today it broke my skin and is stinging hours later. I *know* how I should respond, but it's so hard in the moment. Today was a good reminder to me on what *I* can do because after all, he is only 19 months. He needs direction from us, the parents.

1. Have appropriate items for him to bite more readily available~"Your teeth must hurt! Here's a chewy tube!"

2. Remember to be positive when he is NOT biting. "You're chewing your chew tube!"

3. Be more consistent reading our book "Teeth are not for Biting."

4. Using consistent language-"ouch! That hurts. Teeth are not for biting!" (that's where the book comes in!)

Here are some of the books I find helpful for challenging behaviors:

I recommend Martine Agassi's series to many of the families I work with that are struggling with behaviors. The author uses positive language to teach the child what they should do! Telling a child "don't hit," does not help them figure out what to do instead. In the book, it offers a variety of things you can do with your hands instead of hitting-high 5's, clapping, etc.

The Hello Genius books are also great! They kind of serve as a social story for the child. And there are a bunch of different books. They have many books that would be helpful for routines as well, such as going to bed, going to the bathroom and eating lunch.

Now I have to be honest, I don't think about reading these books until after the behavior. It would be much more helpful to read them more often, so that will be my goal!

Stay tuned! I also have a variety of books to share on managing feelings and emotions with the little ones. This can be especially difficult if your child is delayed in language development.